There's a first time for everything...

Well here it goes. My first blog. The only problem is, I don't think I'm really the blogger type. I'm not even sure what blogs are for. I mean what kind of a name is "Blog" anyways? It makes me think of "blah, blah, blah" and that's not good. But despite my apprehension... a blog I will write and here's why:

I think I'm a lot like you. We may come from different backgrounds and we may find ourselves in different stages of life but I think we might share the same fears, doubts, insecurities, dreams, hopes, and interests. I think we might get excited about the same things and I think we might worry about some of the same things. I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a daughter, a friend, a niece, an aunt, and a sister. Although I am a lot of things to a lot of people, sometime I think people expect me to be something that I'm not. You see another one of my titles is "Pastor's Wife" and with that comes a lot of assumptions and expectations. Most of them false.

As I write this it is quickly approaching the noon hour, I am still in my pajamas, I have three kids interrupting my every thought and a 9 month old baby screaming in the distance (I've been trying to put her down for a nap for the past hour and it appears her will is stronger than mine). I'm pretty sure people expect the pastor's wife to be out of bed, showered, dressed, and doing devotionals by 6 a.m. If she's any sort of a pastor's wife at all, she would also have a very clean house and her children would be perfectly behaved and leading the neighbors to Jesus. Chances are she's lived a charmed life, never sinned, and she is not allowed to be insecure or shy. She's got to be a leader and an example. I'm thinking she should also sew and play the piano...and sing like an angel. Most people don't want to be her friend because they can't relate to her personally but they like to look at her from afar and imagine how perfect her life must be.

I've almost been married for 15 years now and Todd has been a pastor the whole time. A lot of those years I tried to fit that mold. I tried to be what people expected me to be, what they wanted me to be. I tried to act like I had it all together but it didn't last long. Somewhere along the line I realized that the expectations were unrealistic and I could help more people by just being honest.

So... like it or not, this is me. I'm not all the things you thought I was. I'm not a super mom, a super wife, a wise leader, or a great housekeeper. I'm just a normal person. I don't know how often I will blog. I don't want to make any lofty promises and then not follow through so we shall just see how it goes. One promise I will make, is to be honest, transparent, and real. My prayer is that somehow through it all, you will realize you aren't alone. And you are normal too.