I am the youngest child in my family, the baby, with 5 older siblings. I must confess, I've been a teensy bit bitter over the years, ever so slightly perturbed with my mother. It wouldn't take you long to figure out why. Just pop over for a visit and casually ask my mom if you can browse through our family photo albums. You'll see page after page and album after album filled with black and white photos of my brothers Kevin, Darin, and Brian. Every single Christmas, Birthday, Easter, new outfit, first steps, first bike, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all of it carefully and meticulously documented. And then.... in the very last album, on the very last page... a few measly little token shots of yours truly! After you're done looking at the albums, ask mom if you can take a quick peek at our family videos. You'll see some familiar faces. That's right, Kevin, Darin, and Brian in action once again! Only this time I'm afraid you won't even catch a quick glimpse of their baby sister because apparently the video camera broke on the day she was born! In fact, if it wasn't for that last page in that last photo album, we'd have a hard time proving that I ever even existed. No baby book, no outfits, no trinkets, nothing. I never understood it... until now.
Kenzington turned 1 on July 18th. She is my 4th and final child. Although I have worked hard to document her life with photographs, I realized today that I have about 10 minutes of her 13 months recorded on video. Not only that, but I haven't written one thing down in her baby book, nothing in her journal, and I didn't even throw her a birthday party. Instead I strapped her in a car seat for 18 hours and dragged her across the country. I'm an animal!
So Kade HAD to take over. Clearly I couldn't be trusted. I had become my mother. The one thing I swore I would never do, I had done!
I'm not really sure when or how it happened. Life takes over and time just starts flying by. It doesn't make any sense to me that the child I gave birth to last week just had her first birthday. And the boy that I held in my arms for the first time last summer, just turned 13. I really can't even think about it for too long without crying. Childhood is such a precious gift but I'm afraid it doesn't last. These past few months that has become painfully clear to me. As I've prepared my house for our eventual move, I have come across some little treasures that have brought me to tears. Choo choo trains that had been clutched in the hands of my tiny little boy for what seemed like years, beaten and battered by his constant love and attention... now discarded in a storage box. A blankey that a certain little girl couldn't live without, frayed and worn from night after night of cuddling and comforting, now folded on a shelf, no longer needed. Toy trucks replaced with video games and baby dolls replaced with iPods.
Sometimes I get caught up in the stress of being a grown up. I get so busy with stuff that I miss out on what really matters... on who really matters. Life goes by quickly. Savor every moment, schedule some cuddle time and enjoy every stage. Grab the video camera. Make some memories and don't forget to laugh! Because in an instant your little kindergardener is in college and you never even saw it coming.
