Today I write to you from a steel tube that is hurling through the open sky at an alarming rate of speed. I’m surrounded by complete strangers who for the most part are keeping to themselves. There is one empty seat that separates me from the other man in my row. I’m sure he is thankful for the buffer since I just experienced a disgusting, out of control coughing attack that left me with tears streaming down my face, robbing me of all of my makeup, my kleenex, and my dignity. Across the aisle sits my husband. The man I’ve been married to for nearly 16 years is playing it cool, pretending not to know me. I can’t really blame him. I’m certain I would do the same thing if the situation were reversed.
The seatbelt sign is illuminated. The sky looks clear to me but something is causing this big jet to jump. I really don’t like to fly. You would think I would be used to it, being the daughter of a pilot and all. I’m certainly no stranger to the sky. I’ve been on hundreds of planes in my lifetime. I’ve traveled all over the world but at the end of the day, I would rather be on the ground.
I think becoming a mom took the daredevil right out of me. It made me look at everything differently. Things I did without thinking twice about before having kids, like skiing and parasailing are suddenly not my idea of a good time. I am more aware of the risks and the dangers. I now have a reason to live and I don’t want anything to jeopardize it.
It’s probably for similar reasons that I don’t like to fly. It just doesn’t seem like a smart thing to do. But there is one thing that redeems flying in an airplane for me. One thing that makes it all worthwhile. One person actually... my dad. Flying was his life and it makes me feel closer to him. My dad passed away six years ago and I miss him. He was a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force before becoming a captain for TWA. He was masterfully skilled and highly respected. When we were on an airplane, we were on his turf. He felt more confident and more comfortable behind the controls of a plane than he ever did behind the wheel of a car. Probably because he understood it.
When I look out of my little oval window at the giant wing and see the flaps popping up and down, when I hear the loud clunks, or feel the sudden shifts in motion, I fear for my life and I assume the worst. But when I was with my dad, and similar things would happen, he didn’t bat an eye because he understood how it all worked. He knew exactly where each sound came from. He knew the reasons behind the shifts in motion. My dad wasn’t a tough man. He wasn’t particularly strong but when he accompanied me on a plane, I felt safe.
So today I have been given a gift. I took a journey back in time. I was a little girl once again, walking through the busy airport with my dad, the captain. I beamed inside as I noticed the passengers pointing at my father as if they were seeing a celebrity. I boarded the plane and remembered the days when my dad was by my side. I remember how it felt to be on his turf. I am reminded that even when things seem scary or out of control to me, my Father has everything under control. He knows how it all works and when He’s with me, I’m safe.
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